The Play By Play

Button Button

2011-04-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

And we made these little buttons. I bet you wanna put them on your shirt.

2011-04-12T00:33:00.001-07:00

Here's something that Austin and I made tonight for my Facebook page. Cool right?

Masters of Misogyny

2009-05-04T22:01:00.000-07:00

Utah loves it's men, and appreciates the aesthetics of a "good" woman, that's all!

Nothing weird about it. Not to me.

Cheers, team.

Get Hooked On Books!

2008-07-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

Any but the one for faces.

Right now facebook has launched a new format of their site, and so help me I want to strangle Mark Zuckerberg because the revamp has clogged the system. Jammed the gears. Thrown a stick in the spokes. Disturbed the balance. Foiled the cogs of the big machine.

I need to know what latino night invites I'm missing out on.

Have I been tagged in any photos from Justin's wedding yet?

Is my inbox ripe with gardening reminders and trashola from The Sugar Rush Kids?

I will never know, because even my mongoose of a computer can't get into my account to tell me. And for this I blame my teachers. Why couldn't you make East of Eden more compelling than Instant Messenger?

Cynthia Skelton of the Montgomery County Public School System, (whose name I add in here, hoping that ultimately she will google herself and stumble across my humble blog) you are the only teacher I ever had in 12 years of piss-poor indoctrination that ever made a lick of sense to me. Infect the world, love.

Facebook, you've got me. Hook, line and stinker. I wish it weren't so, but I just can't let you go.

Maybe your crash is the beginning of something great for me. Maybe I'll read Oliver Twist. And maybe I'll just wait until tomorrow morning when you will be fully operational once more. Streamlined and slick as a seal in margarine.

Mark Zuckerberg, I hate you but, You're the best.

Beauty School Drop Out

2008-06-25T10:32:00.000-07:00

I went to class yesterday. The Doctrine ampersand Covenants. My teacher looked strikingly like Martin Scorsese for a man that teaches religion to the religiously minded. This wasn't a problem for me. I can learn to listen to a syrupy, slow version of one of cinema's true remaining champions. I was much more squirmy knowing that only 24 hours earlier I had arrived home from a nearly week long visit to this glorious nations westernmost edge.

His words droned on, providing a gapless background score for my much more enticing thoughts. I wondered if summer was really the best time for college. I wondered about how much money they pay you in the seedy back alleys of the medical community for spinal taps and thigh-skin samples. I wondered where I would be more likely to find myself a suitable cuddle companion. I wondered how many of my friends had opted to give school the slip.

I sat, scarcely making out names like "Sidney Rigdon" and "Brother Brigham", and decided to call on the sage wisdom of a few friends, instead of listening intently. "Give me ONE reason to stay in school. Otherwise I'm gone", said the mass text. I waited, as many of my generation do, in cyber limbo. Waiting for an indecipherable and emphatically ambiguous response from someone. Anyone.

But in my waiting, a high pitched electric scream slid in under the door. A confused room of eager pupils looked heavenward, as it were, to identify the sound. Fire alarm. Just then, three texts came back informing me to GET OUT. I got my answer. From above? Hard to say. What is true, though, is that this school is too dangerous for the summer. So I slipped on my shades and never looked back.

It's hot outside. Go get weird. That's what I'm up to.

You're the best.

American Grandma

2008-05-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

Today my Mutie hung up on me to vote for David Cook on American Idol. She distractedly held a conversation with me for about five minutes at the end of which she muttered "1-866-idols-01" and quickly filed me away. I have taken a back seat to this impostor Cook. I hope he loses, so I can have my grandma back. Vote Archuleta.

You're the best.

El Gordo

2008-04-22T00:25:00.001-07:00

I love the song "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot. I hear the last minute of it on the radio periodically and have never before made an attempt to find out who sings it. I'm not sure it relates to me. I'm not sure it has to. It's catchy. I'll stretch it to make it fit. Maybe I'll let you in on how it applies to me later.

Other songs that I love too much to be ashamed of loving:

Melissa Manchester - Don't Cry Out Loud

Glen Campbell - Rhinestone Cowboy

Don McLean - Miss American Pie

The Stone Poneys - Different Drum

Vitamin C - The Graduation Song

Billy Joel - Movin' Out

Fallout Boy - Sugar, We're Going Down

Tim McGraw - Something Like That

Dixie Chicks - Travellin' Soldier

Elton John - Daniel

Elvis Presley - In The Ghetto

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Good Charlotte - The Motivation Proclamation

Jethro Tull - Thick As A Brick

Joe Cocker - Up Where We Belong

Lil' Troy - Wanna Be A Balla

Limp Bizkit - My Way

Linda Rondstadt - Somewhere Out There

Linkin Park - One Step Closer

Nelly - Luvin' Me

Bone Thugz N' Harmony - Home (feat. Phil Collins)

P.O.D. - Youth Of The Nation

Pink - Just Like A Pill, Don't Let Me Get Me

R.E.M. - E-Bow The Letter

R. Kelly - The Worlds Greatest

Rob Thomas - Lonely No More

Ryan Shupe - Dream Big

The Sounds - Dance With Me

I guess that's it for now. I'd love to hear yours. I'd also love to hear that I'm not alone on some of these. But even if I am, I will sing these loud and proud.

You're the best.

Petition

2008-04-07T15:03:00.000-07:00

Now hear this. I'm supposed to do something creative. For a class. I'm supposed to contrive up something the likes of which Brent Strong has never seen.

So, friends, send me your creative thoughts. It has to be something I can produce. Something I can make with my clumsy mitts. He prefers that it not be a paper. So do I frankly.

If you come up with something that I do, I will buy you five candy bars of your choosing. That's a promise.

Ayudame!

You're the best.

This Is The Funniest Blog Ever

2008-03-31T22:29:00.000-07:00

Maybe you won't find it as funny as I did. But maybe your sense of humor sucks.

G-Field

Get into it.

You're the best.

Jumpsweets

2008-03-30T12:59:00.001-07:00

I don't often take credit, but I'm proud of this one.

The jumpsuits were fully my idea and they were an enormous success. So many people took so many pictures of us. It was the most boss party ever. Peep this.

They said my middle name was "eff". Isn't that something?

I'm truly sorry for gloating, but once in a while I need a little validation. This fit the bill. Now I'm done.

You're the best.

Camptown Races

2008-03-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

I must go camping. Please come with me if you feel the same way.

You're the best.

V Is For Victory

2008-02-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

K is for KOUTS.

Thank you for voting and making a difference in the life of this child. This is Alex in one of his first, and now gone-by, modeling jobs. He was a poster child for the Red Cross. Which his awesome mother was also the spearhead of. His modeling career, that is. Not the Red Cross.

Thank you again for voting. You will never know how funny my life is because you did so.

You're the best.

Utah Doesn't Suck

2008-02-22T11:12:00.002-08:00

Despite popular belief held by those who don't live here, it's pretty great. See Fig. 1a.
That was what it looked like biking home from campus three days ago. I almost wrecked looking at it.

Fig. 1b. is a little more of the same.
Its an inadequate rendering but this was a group of us out on Utah Lake having a bonfire. Mildly nerve-racking, yes, but very very fun. In a 1950's sort of a, "I-don't-feel-like-a-bad-person-the-next-morning" sort of way. Which I'm into. I can't speak for you though. Maybe your into post-party catatonia, vomit and chemical dependency.

Also, I had a sleepover last night with two really good friends. And we wore enormous shirts and ate gummy snacks and watch "Dazed & Confused". It was freaking darling. And we were tired from "Ghost-Ridin' the whip". Or at least I was. I mean, how many of you can say that?

I can't wait for it to thaw out. I'll be posting all the time about this place. This great place.
You're the best.

Do You Also Attach To A Cat And Do Hair?

2008-02-19T17:48:00.000-08:00

Man, Asians are funny. I don't care who you are.

Get a load of this cherry from Brianna. Really dwell on some of the lengthier passages and let them resonate in your delicate dome piece.
And if that only whets your appetite for Japanese (primarily) or Chinese language gap mishaps, please go here and simply gorge yourself.
You Orientals... You're the best.

Kouts For President...

2008-02-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

of handsome.

His mother tricked him into this. She said there was an "emergency" at home. He drove from UMD and they immediately went to Lord & Taylor where he found he'd been entered into a Modeling Contest. You're vote matters. Please go and do it. For Me. And Alex' mom.

http://www.lordandtaylor.com/directmail/modelsearch_vote.jsp#store4

You're the best.

An Ordinary Man

2008-01-29T19:26:00.000-08:00

Better than Santa Claus. Paul Rusesabagina, the man upon whose experiences the film "Hotel Rwanda" is based, came and spoke at the BYU forum this morning. I was lucky enough to be able to get on the floor, as opposed to the bleachers, and shake hands with him after his address.

The title of this post is the name of the book he wrote, which I guess was not nearly as popular without Don Cheadle , and I assure you, that is an honest assessment of himself. Before you take that comment the wrong way let me add that his plainness of speech and timid manner in relating to the horde that wished to shake his hand was what really drove the whole message of his speech home. Moreover, I was extremely touched by his example as he sang the opening hymn in that very foreign setting, without a hint of guile in his eyes. He was not trying to impress anyone, but he certainly did.

He was most insistent that he was not a hero. He merely said that the situation was unbelievably unfortunate and he had no choice but to rise to the occasion. May I view my struggles the same way. May we all. You're the best. Paul included.

(On an unrelated note, Austin and I have been saying his last name with addict glee. Try it.)

We Got Another One Playa

2008-01-27T00:42:00.000-08:00

This one is dedicated exclusively to people watching in Provo. Set up by Smith and allegedly featuring commentary by a good cross-section of folks. Or maybe just the roommates. Either way, it can't go too far wrong. It's a town full of loons. So I hope you all enjoy this. All six of you.

You(six people)'re the best.

I don't know that those links worked. The sites I tried to put up were these.

DavidSmithsBlog.Blospot.Com - Self Explanatory.

ThisJustHappened.Blogspot.Com - The Newbie. Hit it.

Little Ol' Hypocritical Me

2008-01-15T19:17:00.000-08:00

Presently, I am enrolled in American Heritage in the BYU Salt Lake Center to fulfill the requirement with as little effort as possible (And I do mean presently. I am in class right now). The only real strain is getting up here once a week to listen to the ravings and jabberings of an old and pre-senile man that wears winter gloves because he had a surgery which requires his commitment to sterile hands. Right on brother. Maroon is a good color on you.

Enter the carpool. I, despite my relatively comfortable manner in living rooms full of friends, am really quite shy. In an attempt to avoid announcing my desire to save gas to the whole group, I just turned to my right on the first day here and asked the boys that were sharing a headset to watch "Ratatouille" if they would be interested in setting up a carpool. Big mistake.

The one directly to my right was an APX alarm representative. He didn't even have to say it. His smug transparency was a dead give-away. It wasn't the fact that he sat on his ipod touch giggling away just loud enough for people around him to notice him or the fact that tonight he asked everyone in the car to stop talking so he could call the Utah Jazz dancer whose number he managed to procure after a game where some "connection" of his bought him 800 dollar front row seats. Those did bother me, don't get that twisted, but it wasn't the worst. The worst of it was that I found myself jealous of him.

Not the Jazz dancer, necessarily, but the money. I want it in a way I don't like. I want a Burberry suit. I want a Porsche. I want to drop out of school and be an eccentric, brilliant young investor who hob-knobs with, like, the guy who merged Daimler and Chrysler. That appeals to me, sadly.

And as I sat there dreaming of all the things I could do and have if I could just talk myself into putting families in debt like "Johnny" (For real. Fake tan too. Love him.) I tuned back in to what was being said for a second. The boy had begun bad mouthing missionary work. He was sarcastically picking apart the day-to-day struggles of an Elder in the field. It was all the reminder I needed, that I'm really doing a great job at living.

I may make a fortune. I may not. It won't matter. There are greater things I am involved in than multi-level mania. For now I think I will stick to those. That's what I'm good at.

Aaaand...

You're the best.

There Might Be Blood

2008-01-10T16:10:00.000-08:00

This isn't going to become a movie-centric blog, I promise. I have just been waiting for P.T. Anderson's new joint to come out for a really long time and Utah seems to always make it dead last in the Limited Release circuit.

If you have never seen one of his movies I don't think I would recommend going it alone. They are all over the place and typically have something pretty offensive in them that serves a symbol for something else. He has done Boogie Nights, Punch-Drunk Love and my personal favorite, Magnolia. That one is tremendous.

Anyway, I was just feeling frustrated because I'm not terribly intrigued by either the new chipmunks movie or Walk Hard. Call me crazy.

You're the best.

AVP: Requiem For A Franchise

2008-01-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

We have no cure for cancer, AIDS, or the common cold, yet, The Brothers Strause were able to procure a handsome budget for themselves to put together this milestone. Something is off kilter.

I have seen four movies, in the theater, this break. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, I'm Not There, Juno and (the cherry on top) Alien V. Predator: Requiem. Of the four, Juno is the only tolerable one although, as a good friend pointed out, it is painfully self-aware. Maybe you view this as a good thing, I'm not sure. Either way, I found it an amusing observation since self-reflection is the hallmark of so many things which are labeled "indie" these days.

Anyway, back to AVP. I can appreciate a film that strives for story over plot more than anyone that I know personally. However, this film scarcely followed a sequence at all. It plays out very much like a first-person-shooter video game, except not as well directed. There are vague details that get you loosely from scene A to scene B but the real point was the gore. Which was also not compelling.

It was shot almost entirely at night which I think the young directors may have tried to pass off as a visual tensor that could add suspense. However, this was the only card they were holding. Beyond the fact that you couldn't see what was coming next (at least with your eyes) there was nothing to make this movie frightening.

There was also an attempt at social commentary which, when it is used well, can be a powerful tool. No such luck with these guys. There was one line that sort of rings in the ears long after it is said as you try to sort through the bad acting commingled with personal opinion and the internal witch hunt for what the writer was possibly thinking when he wrote it. The line is, "But the government doesn't lie to people". It is said with naive certainty by a woman who later dies when the United States Air Force drops a NUCLEAR BOMB on her town for the purposes of "containment". I suppose the writer just picked a place he had never heard of when he was thinking of a secluded location. But I have been to Gunnison, Colorado. Four times. They have a UNIVERSITY there. A stellar choice by the same man who brought you the screenplay for the remake of Shaft. His name is Shane Salerno. He is the Anti-Kaufman.

Excessive pretension aside, I was entertained. I went with my dad and brother-in-law and we laughed about it all the way home. I predict we will laugh about it for a good long time. So it didn't go to The Red Cross but was our money really entirely wasted? Maybe not. And that will have to be good enough, because we can't unsee that horrid film.

You're the best.

If you are interested in my assessment of any of the other movies, just ask.
Also, I have a bad looking new haircut due to a reckless barber(ian) and I have put on an obnoxious amount of weight in this town in an attempt to stave off boredom. Cheers team.

When A Plan Comes Together

2007-12-20T23:43:00.001-08:00

Don't you just love it? I know I do.

Not that my plans today were particularly great, but they all happened. I finished my exams, cooked myself the dinner I've been wanting since Monday and saw No Country For Old Men (and no one talked! Huge pet peeve. Maybe I'll explain it in a later post.) Anyway, I'll maintain an acceptable GPA, probably sleep very well tonight and check another one off my "movies to see" list. It's the simple things, right? SIGH...

Maybe this post was boring. But at least it's over.

You're the best.

Escuela

2007-12-18T08:33:00.000-08:00

Believe me, I resisted posting anything about school during finals week as long as I could but I think BYU is such an unusual institution that I had to say something about it.

I don't know when, but I have to believe that at some point in my life people will stop giving me what I want just because I say it's important to me. I never want this to happen and, I should add, that I never feel like I have twisted anyones arm to get what I want. However, especially where school is concerned, it has been my experience that if I go say - "Excuse me, dear sir or madam, I need a higher grade on this because presently it will reflect poorly on me. Can I please have one?"- it works. I have received two critical grades this semester that I did not earn, in different classes, simply by asking. I hope this doesn't come off boastful. I promise, I'm as confused as you.

I'm glad I am at school at BYU. I chalk this unwarranted generosity up to the teachers being invested in teaching something beyond the curriculum. A very LDS sentiment. "David- I just read your email. I believe in mercy. Megan please add 12 points to his score. - Dr. Dollahite" That 12 points took me from a failing grade to a B. Unreal.

I recommend talking to your teachers. Maybe even start out by saying "Hey, you know what? I'd really like an A in this class. What can we do about that?" It seems to do the trick.

Good luck on your finals. You're the best.

Would you rather?

2007-12-14T15:33:00.000-08:00

Would you rather write a paper on the morality of socialism for me or give me your paycheck for the first five years of your career?

Take your pick.

This is not hypothetical.

You're the best.

The Best Song Ever Written

2007-12-08T12:53:00.000-08:00

As close as I can figure it, a better song has not been written than "When The Ship Comes In" by Bob Dylan. At least I've never heard one. It's off "The Times They Are A-Changin'" and it hits just as hard every time I hear it.

It is, to me, about the second coming of Christ and somehow resonates with the deepest part of me that believes he will be my rock and my salvation. The part of me that needs someone to fill in the huge, embarrassing gaps. The part of me that simply can't fight anymore.

I believe when that time comes, Christ will be there to peacefully and unflinchingly end the torment that Satan has inflicted upon God's children. And it fills me with profound gratitude to know that there is someone so much stronger than me who wants me around enough to fight for me. The world has a way of picking on you and mercilessly highlighting your limitations. Christ will return full of mercy and will welcome all who seek him. I know of nothing in my whole life that feels more true than this. I wish you were here to see my sincerity. I hope it comes through in my words even half as well as it does in the words from this song.

These are the lyrics:

Oh the time will come up
When the winds will stop
And the breeze will cease to be breathin'.
Like the stillness in the wind
'Fore the hurricane begins,
The hour when the ship comes in.

Oh the seas will split
And the ship will hit
And the sands on the shoreline will be shaking.
Then the tide will sound
And the wind will pound
And the morning will be breaking.

Oh the fishes will laugh
As they swim out of the path
And the seagulls they'll be smiling.
And the rocks on the sand
Will proudly stand,
The hour that the ship comes in.

And the words that are used
For to get the ship confused
Will not be understood as they're spoken.
For the chains of the sea
Will have busted in the night
And will be buried at the bottom of the ocean.

A song will lift
As the mainsail shifts
And the boat drifts on to the shoreline.
And the sun will respect
Every face on the deck,
The hour that the ship comes in.

Then the sands will roll
Out a carpet of gold
For your weary toes to be a-touchin'.
And the ship's wise men
Will remind you once again
That the whole wide world is watchin'.

Oh the foes will rise
With the sleep still in their eyes
And they'll jerk from their beds and think they're dreamin'.
But they'll pinch themselves and squeal
And know that it's for real,
The hour when the ship comes in.

Then they'll raise their hands,
Sayin' we'll meet all your demands,
But we'll shout from the bow your days are numbered.
And like Pharaoh's tribe,
They'll be drownded in the tide,
And like Goliath, they'll be conquered.

I know that my redeemer lives. That he loves us.
And that he will come again.

Merry Christmas, friends. You're the best.

Re(al)Load Button: Revamped

2007-11-30T16:39:00.000-08:00

I have been called out on my post about insanity. Soundly so. I'm willing to admit it.

My example about the weights doesn't hold any weight itself because the expectation of going to the gym is to add muscle mass. An increase suggests a change, even if it does have a nice loophole quality to it. It's not as though a person goes to the gym one day to put on muscle mass and the next day to see if they can grow some antlers. Although, I 'd like to watch that. You psycho.

I have also been informed that the quote did not materialize out of dust in the cosmos as I had originally hypothesized and hoped. Einstein said it. And not that the man can't be disproved, but he was no slouch. Sorry for doubting you, Al. Take some comfort in the fact that you will always have a staunch and able advocate in Spencer Wilcox.

You're the best.

Strike On

2007-11-29T12:46:00.000-08:00

I think the WGA is still on strike. Or anyway, I joined a facebook group this morning supporting their return.

I have to be honest though, as I did on the wall of the group, I don't support their return. I get a pretty good kick out of the thousands crying foul like addicts at a rehab. "Don't take our shows!" Get real.

I think it should be upsetting to people how easily placated they are by fast cut, fast solution garbage. Is that what you want your mind to be? So much so that you are willing to get up-in-arms about it? Go have a glass of whiskey. At least it's you manipulating your thoughts that way. Not some talented staff of writers crafting whatever sells for higher ratings.

I'm not actually as pissed as I may sound, but I do think it's pretty sad to see people suffering actual withdrawals from having to watch a few re-runs of 24. Go read a book. Or watch a movie that you don't understand right away. Or go for a jog. There is more to life than what the Writers Guild can compose.

You're the best. Not the guild.

You're The Best

2007-11-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

I feel like this needs a qualifier. Heck, maybe even a vote. Tell me (after reading this post) if you still don't like it.

As if you hadn't noticed I've been killing off each entry with the phrase "You're The Best." I did have a few reasons for this:

Firstly, if you were sitting here with me, intently listening to whatever i could conjure up, I think that's about what I'd say at the end. How kind of you to put up with me and to continue to feign interest. If you do that in real life, You really are the best.

Secondly, I really think it. I don't know what You are the best at, but you'll find it. And I want to encourage you to continue your search.

Thirdly, I've always wanted a sign off. Reagan had one. Why can't I? It's like a finishing move in Mortal Kombat. You can throw punch-kick combos aimlessly and still win but if you memorize one dank fatality, everyone is beholden to you.

Fourth and lastly, It reminds me of my homeboy Curt who used to go about his daily activities asserting to all that he was the best. If you say it enough times, it becomes true. So I say it in hopes that you start saying it to yourself. Would you do that for me?

I hope so. You're the best.

Re(al)Load Button

2007-11-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

I have never agreed with the recent trend in defining insanity as "trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results." It has gained popularity in the last, I would say, three or four years. No one knows why this became the good thing to do all of the sudden.

For one thing, insanity isn't a verb. We can all agree on that, I think. No one says "What's the matter with Ed?" "Oh don't worry about it, he's just doing some insanity." Well, maybe someone does. But I assure you, that person is insane.

Lets take for instance lifting weights. Not one of my favorite pastimes, but it works. By this definition, anyone who sets foot in a gym in any sort of consecutive fashion is a lunatic. That might be true, but I promise it won't be because they don't get ripped.

Take also the reload button on the top of your screen. If the page you want isn't loading, just keep pushing that baby. You will get what you want. Although, to be fair, that button has driven me a little insane on occasion. Just stick to the example about weights.

To set the record straight, this is the definition:

in·san·i·ty [in-san-i-tee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun, plural -ties.

1.	the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind.

2.	Law. such unsoundness of mind as affects legal responsibility or capacity.

3.	Psychiatry. (formerly) psychosis.

4.	extreme folly; senselessness; foolhardiness.

Next time you want to sound smart don't go with what you heard in a catchy flick about unrequited love or a church talk about changing your ways. Look it up.

You're still the best. Even if you are a little dense sometimes.

An Innocent Game Of Squash

2007-11-28T22:01:00.001-08:00

Austin wanted to make darn sure no one touched this beauty. And, really, who could blame him?

You're the best.

In Addition

2007-11-28T21:45:00.000-08:00

I would like to say that the only reason I did not delete my first two posts, which embarrass me tremendously, is because the only thing worse than writing the insecure crap that I wrote is not not owning that I wrote it. So, I hope I get better at this so I don't have to feel ashamed when I post.

Feel free to tell whoever you like about this blog. My secrets are safe with you.

You're the best.

Well, maybe you are second to my awesome sign-off catch phrase. But you're still pretty good.

Renaissance

2007-11-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

I have decided to give this baby another twirl. Six months later. The way I will do it (unless I am incredibly inspired by something that I am really itching to write about and my hands are on this exact keyboard begging for me to spend my free time on blogspot) will be to transcribe the things that I write in class. I feel like that is a frequent enough event that I could manage to post semi-frequently and feel like I am contributing to some community. Even if it's a virtual one.

Here goes. I wrote this about a month ago, in the tiniest handwriting possible, when some kid kept trying to see what I was drawing in my pink cougar spiral.

I can't tell you how much I enjoy writing small. Highly cathartic, this. I sincerely believe that if I do this, it will make onlookers think I'm writing a genius piece of literature. "Why else would he write so small?" They will wonder. Well, keep on wondering you peeping tom. I write this small to tantalize. Its like a seductive neighbor intentionally using translucent drapes. You may be close, but you just can't tell. Certainly, my favorite "moth" in this class is the brain dead seducee behind me. Keep trying to look around my beautiful shoulders. Catch a word like "colloquial" and speculate as you slump back again. Should you be writing? Did you miss the memo? Oh, I suppose you did. Big trouble for you, buddy. Get movin'.

I want to add, for your sake my little blog babies, that it is in this same class that I receive a daily sudoku puzzle from the attractive girl who replaced the brain dead bum who used to sit right behind me. Everyday she tears them out, and passes them around to her neighbors. I have concocted, in my mind, that if I do them the fastest that she will be more interested in me thereby. It's my only incentive to pick up the pace. And everyday I'm let down that she doesn't write her number on the torn out puzzle she hands me. One day, darling. One day.

I'm glad to be here, even if school does try to kill me. You're the best.

Monday(ne)

2007-05-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

Today has been uniquely uneventful for me, which is really a pity. It seems that if I can transfer momentum from day to day that I do quite alright, but today was not that day. I have run a few errands, plead for more money, attached a hose to a swamp cooler and watched "The Blackboard Jungle". By the way, watching movies that blew the lid off an issue back in the day are laughable and tedious now. I recommend it if you are in the market to get a sense of our frightening advancement as a society.

It seems that my current favorite artist, Conor Oberst, has nailed it again for me (I know. A blog with bright eyes in it should be cause for you to punch through your screen and tell me to lose the 'tude. C'est La Vie.) The line that has kept making its way out of my mouth since bedtime ended is:
A good woman will pick you apart.
A box full of suggestions, for your possible heart.
But you may be offended, and you may be afraid,
But don't walk away, don't walk away.

Can't help but let that one play on loop upstairs. My current love interest is unable to get involved with me because of some decisions I've made in the past but, as always, she'd like to remain close. Insecure as I am, I obviously said that I wanted that too and am paying the price for agreeing to those terms. I remember years ago writing that a girl was doing this same thing and that the relationship was always close enough to sense but never close enough to be realized. Patterns are tricky things to unravel. A sincere laugh and a glance that lasts more than a few seconds is pretty much cause for me to impersonate Pavlov's dogs. One day, so I'm told, I'll meet "the one". I could do without her for the time being though. Almost any "one" would do just fine.

Thankfully no one reads this yet. I am met with the constant realization that I sound like a horrible pompous moron. Someone who knows me, please tell me, is this how I really sound? If it is, I sincerely apologize. It's still a little uncomfortable for me to say things to essentially no one. Its not like a conversation so you, my faithful reader, get the full brunt of my neurosis. Every whit. And I appreciate it.

You're the best.

Let Us Begin

2007-05-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

I had an entire first entry written about progress, the significance of age and insecurity. But it made me hate myself so I took it down. The easiest way to sum it up is like this:

I'm 22.
I am a committed church-goer.
I play music and watch movies.
I can't stand rejection but I subject myself to it in many forms.
I live on a sinking ship. So do you.
I love and hate myself for something.
I love you and hate you for something.
I hate that Spell Check exists to permit words like blog but not faux.

It was really quite standard. I just wanted to get the ball rolling.
The reason I got rid of it was because my deepest thoughts and biggest words somehow made me sound even more stupid. And I didn't think you would comment on it.

Thanks for reading. You're the best.